As a kid, my father told me that constantly. "Eso es Satanico" referred to Ninja Turtles, Smurfs, Garbage Pail Kids, and even Madballs. I tried to convince him that Scooby Doo wasn't 'satanico' because the monsters were actually angry old men who ran county fairs and not at all related to the devil or he-who-must-not-be-named.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Christmas was, I felt, a success. Yes, I had to have my car pushed out of my driveway by two nice strangers, but I made it out alive and the drive to Port Angeles, where I take the ferry into Victoria, was a breeze.

Beth and I had a good time and I was welcomed into a new family. I was treated as family. I was given gifts and I ate and drank with people that I'd only met a couple of times. They went out of their way to let me know that even though this time is hard because I'm so far away from 95% of the people I know, that I have a place there, in Victoria.

It felt good.

My mother abandoned Christmas family stuff this year-- since everyone's left Miami and/or become an asshole, she decided to go on a cruise. I guess she couldn't handle the idea of having a five or six person Christmas dinner this year, especially having had more than twenty people over just last year. I can imagine it must be difficult. So she decided not to play the game at all: my mother and stepfather took my sister and brother-in-law on a cruise. They're in the Caribbean right now. They skipped Christmas and they'll be skipping New Year's Eve, too. I love it. I think its brilliant and given the year she's had, she deserves it. I'm happy for her.

The Seattle snow week is over. The brilliant white sheen of the roads has been replaced with what looks like mounds of pissed-on used charcoal on all of the sidewalks.

Friday, December 19, 2008



Ew.
What a stupid, sick, waste of a week its been. I think this may be my first ever Seattle cold. I've had Seattle sniffles before, but not like this. Not this debilitating stuff-ass bullshit. I'll be glad to be over it soon. I was working out a lot and seeing results and really... finally feeling like I was getting stuff done.

Aside from being my first proper Seattle cold, this week has also brought my first proper bit of Seattle snow. And by 'proper bit' I mean I've been indoors for the last two days. I'm mostly too frightened to drive, and anyone following the news should be. Some websites were making it seem as if it was the first time its ever snowed here. They made it seem as if It was smart to stay indoors not because of the snow but because the Dawn of the Dead was taking place outside. Right now there's a group of about 4 guys and a pregnant lady who are staying at the Southcenter Mall, waiting to be able to get out safely, apparently.

I've spent the last two days in bed, playing on the laptop. One of the things I did was play on both Yelp and Facebook way, way too much. An embarrassing amount. But hey, I don't really know anyone here so e-socializing, sometimes, especially when I'm snowed in and sick, is the way to go.

When not soullessly interneting and eating shit online, I've been doing a couple of other things. One of those things has been reading Nick Hornby's Shakespeare Wrote for Money, a book which I've been enjoying, to my surprise, a whole lot. Shakespeare Wrote for Money arrived this week from McSweeney's and I thought "no way this is the book of the month." The other ones had been so nice, these massive hardcover editions with embossed lettering on the covers and all that. this one's just an itty-bitty paperback. Either way, the book collects some of Hornby's columns from The Believer.

Hornby is astute, funny, and wordy. I like reading this a lot right now. I remember trying to read his column from The Believer itself and feeling like I didn't understand what he was saying. Turns out I just have a really short attention span, is all. I feel like reading it now, and I'm enjoying it a whole lot. I love finding his take on books I've actually read, like Allison Blechdel's graphic memoir Fun Home and books that are on my shelf waiting to be read, like Jesse Walter's The Zero (He liked both of them).

I've also watched two discs of Brotherhood, a Showtime drama about a couple of brothers-- one is in local Rhode Island politics, and the other is in the local mob. Hilarity ensues. Actually, not at all. This show, for obvious reasons, gets a lot of comparisons to The Sopranos, so that's what I'll do here. Brotherhood, while good, doesn't carry any of the pathos that Tony and the gang did. Brotherhood really only seems to have one somewhat sympathetic character, while The Sopranos really only seemed to have one or two that weren't. Yeah, Christopher Moltesanti was a abusive cheater who occasionally called Adriana a hoor, but we loved him. I don't know why, but we did. I think its because, for better or for worse, we watched him struggle. With not taking drugs, with who to shoot and who not to shoot. We felt for him when Paulie busted his balls and smelled Adriana's underwear while going through her drawers. We knew Cleaver would be an awful movie, and yet we wanted it to make him rich and famous so that he could leave the life behind.

But I digress-- my point is that the characters on Brotherhood are mostly abhorrent and mean and sad and unfunny. Still it gets four stars on my netflix queue. I haven't been able to explain why, though. I'm thinking Jason Isaac. I'm thinking I just like watching the guy, more without the blonde Malfoy wig than with. I'm actually pleasantly surprised at what a handsome dude he is-- I'd only seen him as Lucius Malfoy in the past. Now I never want to see him in that role again, because it'd somehow take away from his repugnant Irish gangster thug persona. The dude that it drives me crazy to watch sometimes is Jason Clarke. Guy looks like Chandler Bing only beat up. His face makes me uncomfortable. He looks like a garbage pail kid. Either way, its made for good watching. And Hornby's made for good reading. And I'm grateful for it. Also for the Slanket Beth got me. Thing's a lifesaver in this weather.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Still not a cook, but still taking care of myself and learning new things. The latest thing I tried for the first time was the Easy Tuna Casserole from AllRecipes. Okay. So the word EASY is in the title. I know that. But I did it, and I did it damn well. I even added green peas to the mix and it made me wonder how anyone could have ever eaten it without the peas. Really. I'm the new God of Cookery. I've done mac and cheese, Curried Coconut Chicken, and this stuff. I'm cleaning up. No one can touch me. Ever.

Does it taste better than it looks? God, yes.

Thanks to girlfriend Beth for the recommendation. I think she recommended it because it said the word EASY in it. But whatever. This week (probably even today!) I'll try something new and exciting, cooking-wise. It won't have the word EASY in the title, either.

In other news, I've requested my transcripts from FIU because I want to start going to school up here ASAP. I hate life as it is right now and I've decided to do something about it besides watching movies and buying music I can't really afford. So I'll go back to school, finish the English degree, and then something else.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008



I am not a cook.


But I really used to want to be, so badly. I just never got around to it. Learning, that is. I let my mom do it for me. Then my ex-girlfriend. I grew up on a steady diet of quesadillas, the only thing I've ever known how to make. I've always cut up leftovers (made by someone else) and thrown them into my quesadillas and called it 'mexican.' heh.

Last night, however, I made myself proud. I made Coconut Curried Chicken from a recipe I got off of http://www.allrecipes.com/. Did it come out great? No. I made it, though. This was no mean feat-- I made kraft mac & cheese for the first time this May, I think. I almost feel bad that I made enough for lunch for the next few days, because I want to keep experimenting and learning. So much fun.

Thursday, November 13, 2008


I actually danced. I can't believe it. Everyone was happy and moving around. My lack of rhythm wasn't an issue at all.

I had a blast. I love this freakin' town.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

So last night, Halloween, I saw Torche again.


They were pretty fantastic. So loud that there were moments where I didn't recognize the songs even though I've heard them a million times and seen them a bunch of times.


The guitarist, Juan, recognizes me from Miami even though he has no clue who I am. he's like "Hey dude, stick around. we're going to a party later" and I'm all bored and I still don't know anyone in this town so I say "okay." He's like "hey come have a drink with us" so I follow him into the bar. Then he says "hey follow me backstage" so I follow him backstage. Then he leaves me alone to talk to someone else.


I'm in the backstage area with members of Clouds (one of the openers) and some other band. They're passing around a joint. I say "uh... hi." One guy is having a beer, and one guy is having a cocktail. Probably whiskey. The bassist from Torche is back there and he's dressed like Subzero or Scorpion from Mortal Kombat but red. I don't know who that's supposed to be. I've never met him. I shake his hand.

Security guard comes backstage and looks at all of us. He points at the guy with the beer and says "you're out. come on." and the other stoned guys are all "why dude?" and the security guard's like "you're not supposed to be drinking back here." he pulls the guy with the beer out and throws him out of the club. The rest of us are all there, one of us has a joint and one guy with the whiskey and we're like "uhhhh."

Everyone walks out and leaves me with the roach. Fearing the security guard's return I put it on the table and leave. I see guitarist Juan and he's like "dude come to the party" but I have no clue where this party is and they're gonna take forever to load up. So I go out to the stage and say bye to the drummer (he's the only guy I really know, he's dressed like GG Allin) and I go outside to contact this dude because he invited me to a party but never texted me the address. I text him that I still need the address and he doesn't get back to me. I go home.

On my way home, car full of people pulls up next to me. This girl on the passenger side rolls down her window and says "This is a citizen's arrest."
I shrug and say "okay, why?"
and she says "For driving a PT Cruiser, motherfucker" and they speed off, laughing.



The end. Wah wahhhhh

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

You know what's crazy? My last login was on Oct. 24, 2006. Just over two years ago.

How exciting. I'm going to be using this site again.

My SuicideGirls.com account is expiring and I don't feel like paying any money to rescue it. I've written hundreds of blogs there and met many nice people, but I'm busier now than I used to be. I don't want to pay for it anymore.

So Hello.

My name is Gabriel, and in the time since my last post I've aged two years, broken up with a girlfriend, gotten a new one, gotten a tattoo (my first!) and moved to Seattle, Washington from Miami, Florida. I've also had a couple of different jobs.

In the next two years I hope to go back to school. My other goal is to go camping in a national park or something like that. Also, to eat better and have less zits. I currently have more than any other 29 year old I know.

Anyway, I'll be around.






About Me

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Seattle, Washington, United States
I don't have enough time on my hands. I have too much time on my hands.

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